Saturday, May 31, 2014

Broken Computers and Worship

Last night I put Lincoln to bed and then sat down on the couch to read my Bible. I read in Matthew and Luke but what really stood out to me was this verse.. 

"And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.” {Matthew 8:2 NKJV}

The leper came to Jesus and worshipped Jesus before Jesus ever made him clean. He had something that needed to be fixed, something that needed to be healed, but before He ever asked for himself, he worshipped Jesus. 

When I read that, it really made me think. When I'm going through something, do I worship before asking Him to change my situation? Or am I so self-absorbed with my own needs that I'm asking God to do what I want, and do it now? 

After my Bible study, I did some homework and then was doing something online when boom. My computer crashed. I mean, straight up died.

I was really hoping to get another year out of this computer because while I have the money.. I have more important things to spend it on. 

My mom has a computer and I can just use hers, but I can't take it with me because it's not a laptop, and I'll have to buy certain programs so I can use it for school. So really.. I'm probably just spoiled by having my own, but it was really bothering me. Either way I look at it, I'm going to have to spend money that I wasn't planning on spending any time soon.

So here I am in tears and I hear Jesus say, "Worship me."

Don't you know that worship happens in so many different ways? Sometimes it's happy and joyful, and sometimes it's laying facedown on the floor with tears in your eyes but saying, Jesus, you are still so good and You are still my provider. No matter what.

When I got my Bible out after I prayed I flipped straight to this..

"God is our refuge and strength, 
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed, 
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar and be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of The Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved;
He uttered His voice, the earth melted. 

The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
He mnakes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth! 

The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge."

{Psalm 46} 

My computer is still broken. I still don't have $800+ to spend on a laptop and programs. But my Jesus is still faithful to provide.

Maybe you're going through something today. It seems hopeless. Maybe it's worse than having to buy a new laptop, maybe it's not. But I do know one thing. 

He is Jehovah Jirah. 


Hello, My Name Is

Right now I'm taking psychiatric mental health nursing and as part of my clinical hours I have to attend three AA meetings.

Before I get started, please understand my heart here. I'm not bashing AA. I think AA helps many people. I just saw something there that broke my heart.

When I went last week I went alone, and everyone treated me so well. I was welcomed and invited in.

It only took about five minutes for my heart to hurt.

Because as each person introduces themselves they have to say..

"Hello, my name is _____ and I'm an alcoholic."

And just like that, they are labeled for life. I never understood until I sat in a meeting that these people see themselves as alcoholics for the rest of their lives. There were people there who had been sober for 20+ years and they still said, "Hello, my name is _____ and I'm an alcoholic."

I wanted to say, No. Just no. You may have struggled with this addiction but Jesus is so much greater. You are not what you have done. You are what He did for you on the cross.

I started thinking.. what if everywhere I introduced myself I said, "Hello, my name is Carrington and I had sex before I was married and had a baby at eighteen years old."

It sounds so silly but the truth is, we walk around like this every day. We walk around labeling ourselves constantly.

Yours may not be alcohol. Yours may not be pre-marital sex. Yours may be drugs. Yours may be adultery. Yours may be a judgmental attitude. Yours may be lying. Yours may be murder.



And you walk around saying to yourself, "Hello, my name is _____, I did this, and I'll never be better than my sins." You walk around defeated every day because you don't think Jesus' sacrifice could ever be greater than what you've done.



You're spending your days labeling yourself as worthless, less than, inferior. You're spending every second of your time labeling yourself as not good enough, broken, dirty.

But I'm here to tell you, take the label off. Drop the baggage. Accept the grace that is so freely given to you by a precious Savior. Stop living in the past.

Jesus came to earth, perfect and blameless so that you wouldn't have to walk around in the shame of the past and the brokenness of your sin. He died so that you wouldn't have to carry the regret and the pain. He rose again so that you would be free in Him no matter what you've done or who you've been.

So today drop the labels and live under Grace.



To the person with a drinking problem, you're a child of The King. To the drug addict, you're a child of The King. To the mom who lost her temper, you're a child of The King. To the one struggling with porn, you're a child of The King. To the one who was raped, you're a child of The King. To the single mom, the child from a broken home, and the one who feels invisible.. You're a child of The King.

"Hello, my name is Carrington and I'm a daughter of The King."


Friday, May 30, 2014

Five on Friday {An insane sale + a cute ring bearer + more!}

Happy Friday, friends! If you missed my guest post on A + Life, go check that out now. If you're new around here, it's a good way to hear a little bit of my story!

I'm so excited to be back blogging today. I'm quickly finding out that my blogging isn't going to be as often as I like. With school going on there just isn't any way to definitely blog every week, so please be patient with my few and far between blogs. I'd love to blog more often but nursing school is way more important.



I am so excited to share my five things with y'all this week! In fact.. I started this post last Friday because I didn't want to forget my first two things! Here they are!

{One}

Let's be clear about this. I don't shop at Nordstrom. I don't even look at their website because hello. Money. I mean seriously, that place is ridiculously expensive. And do you really think a 21 year old, single mom, who is in full-time college has $80 {or the conscience} to pay for one pair of shoes? I don't think so.

I do, however, follow Shay and Sheaffer and they love Nordstrom. They post things from there constantly but I obviously don't pay too much attention that that part of their blog because I just know I won't be buying anything from there.

And then last Friday morning I was reading Shay's blog when she mentioned that THE CUTEST scarf went on sale for less than $9!!!! WHAT. 

{AND IT'S STILL ON SALE!!!!!}

Nordstrom has free shipping so I figured why not? I'll get my money's worth out of it in the first two weeks of Winter, no joke. I'm seriously pretty thrilled.

So that's how I ended up with this beauty.



{Two}



My parents came home from out of town with a shirt from me and a shirt for Linc two weeks ago and we got to wear them last Friday. I can tell I'll be wearing it a lot and so will Lincoln.

I'm all about a new t-shirt that's super cute and talks about Jesus.

{You can find both of these shirts and more HERE!}

The best part? My mom read this post and knew the shirt was just perfect for me. She's a good mom like that.


{Three}

I MADE AN 88 ON MY FIRST PSYCH TEST!!!!

That deserves capital letters.

Because of our teacher having to go out of town, we actually weren't taught the material so I was really freaking out not knowing what/how to study. But praise God, I passed my first test of the semester.


{Four}

Calm. Peace. Quiet.

My brother got married on Memorial Day so we were incredibly busy for a week before. If you don't know me in real life, I'm not someone who enjoys going out every day. It completely exhausts me. I really enjoy having quiet time at home. It recharges me and allows me to rest. To just go, go, go constantly is not something I'm good at.

So this week has been so nice. We've stayed in our pajamas in the morning, played at the park, and I've gone to sleep before 11. It's been a joy.

But the wedding was beautiful.

Soon{ish} I'm going to post a post with some pictures I have from the wedding weekend. Trust me. It will be worth the wait.



For now.. I'll leave you with this precious boy. {Follow me on instagram @carefuss for more!}


{Five}

I finished the Old Testament! Back in August {I think} I decided to read through the entire Bible chronologically and a week ago I finished the Old Testament.

Two things really stood out to me over and over.

One - We mess up. A lot. I mean the people who God saw as righteous and the people we think of as "heroes of the Bible" are murderers, thieves, liars.. But here is where two comes in..

Two - God is so faithful and forgiving. We mess up so often but there is no limit to the number of times that God will forgive us and call us His child. What a gracious and perfect God!

So I'm so excited to finally be in the New Testament. I love the way Jesus has changed my heart towards His Word over the past year.



Just for fun I'm leaving you with this sweet picture. My sister taught Linc how to wink yesterday. SO. CUTE.

So those are my five things today! Have an amazing weekend!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Come Visit Me

Happy Saturday, friends!

This morning I am over at A+ Life hanging out with Courtney. Or guest posting. Whichever you'd like to call it. {Rumor is Courtney may have cried.}

Today I'm sharing some of my personal story and a little encouragement. I hope you're having a wonderful weekend! 


Thursday, May 22, 2014

Where in the World

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego Carrington Fussell?

Y'all. It has been awhile. I've had blog ideas floating in my head but just never quite finding the time to sit down and type them out. God has so sweetly been speaking and I have a few things I can't wait to share when life calms down a bit.

I started my psychiatric mental health nursing class on the 14th and I'm already drowning in work. Between clinical hours, studying, mental status assessments, and our teacher unexpectedly having to travel out of town, it's been an interesting two weeks. Yesterday I actually attended an AA meeting for some of my clinical hours and that was very interesting. I have my first psych test Wednesday so please be praying for me to pass that test!



This weekend is also my brother's wedding. From Saturday - Monday I'll be busy with wedding stuff so there will be almost no time to study. I'm stressing a tad bit. His wedding is on Memorial Day and let me just tell you. His ring bearer {aka, my son} is THE CUTEST in his outfit. I cannot wait to show y'all how precious he is!



The wedding is outside at three so in addition to praying for my exams, you can also pray for cool-ish weather and no rain!

Lincoln is doing great. He is thoroughly loving having his Uncle Pearce here and I'm praying hard that he'll behave at the wedding. Poor kid fell on the pavement running today and hurt his knee and his forehead.



He looks really hurt, right? I had just given him chocolate and said, "Hey baby elephant!" I'm obviously hysterical and he's obviously cute.

 He finished school and had graduation {post coming} and is now done for the Summer. He starts swim lessons June 3rd!


Really that's all we have going on. Wedding. School. Swim. I think I will feel a whole lot better once the wedding and first test are over.

Please be praying for me as I tackle a lot of stuff in the next week or so. This first test is really important to pass since there are only three the whole semester. I so appreciate your prayers! And I really can't wait to get back to blogging some more!



Friday, May 16, 2014

When Our Protection Isn't Enough

Since it's Friday, I had planned on doing my regular Five on Friday, but today God told me to write something else. So here we are.

Last night before bed, Lincoln told me, "Keep me safe." Oh baby, you have no idea how badly I try to do that.

I want to protect Lincoln with everything I have in me. Every fiber of my being wants to hold him close every second of his life and never let anything bad ever happen to him. But I can't.

This world may be rough on him. Isn't it on all of us at some point in time? I want to protect him from skinned knees and broken bones. I want to keep him from pulling or tearing any muscles. I want to protect him from financial trouble. I want to protect his future home and cars from any damage. But more than all of the physical aspects of his life..

I want to protect his heart. Good heavens, I just want to protect his heart.

It's no doubt he'll experience heartbreak in his life. In fact, last night I watched as his heart broke right before me. Someone did something without thinking of how it may hurt his feelings and it made me mad. I was livid. It makes me angry that anyone could not take into consideration how his heart may feel when they do something. And the thing is.. it may happen again.
So what happens when we can't protect our children?

We give them to Jesus. 

Jesus is ultimately the Creator of Lincoln. He's the Creator of your son/daughter, too. As much as I passionately and unconditionally love Lincoln, somehow The Father loves him so much more than I ever could. As much as I talk to God about how I want to protect Lincoln, I know that the God of the universe can protect him so much more fully than I can.

pray for future kids

Jesus is such a good Daddy. He's the absolute best there is. He loves passionately, unconditionally, intentionally. Jesus is crazy about my son. Your son. Your daughter. He has plans for them {Jeremiah 29:11}! He has a purpose and a future. We have to trust that His love will carry them.

It takes so much faith and prayer to trust that God will hold our children. We have to pray with and for our children. We have to pray daily to release our children back to their rightful Father.

If your fist is closed so tightly around your child, God has no hand to pour blessing into.

Trust me. I understand this isn't easy. This has been a battle I've been in with Jesus for months, if not years, and it's something I have a hard time laying at Jesus' feet. Handing Lincoln over to Him sends me to tears every single time. It's a constant battle that has to be conquered every day.

 So I get it, friend. It's not easy to just trust that your child will be okay. But until we give our children over to God, we'll never experience the peace He's designed for us. So lay them at The Father's feet. If He loved them enough to die for them, He loves them enough to protect them. 



Thursday, May 15, 2014

Dollar Deals

Happy Thursday! Today Linc and I are spending a quiet day just getting ready for his graduation tonight. I'll be posting pictures of that soon. Hopefully. We've already watched Pocahontas and played puzzles this morning. I'm looking forward to just spending some time with my sweet boy. 

 I have a completely random post for you today. So just go with it and enjoy the randomness! 

I love Target. I'd be willing to bet you do, too. If you say you don't, you're lying. It's like crack. {I've never done crack, but my point is that it's addictive.}

I mean seriously. We ladies have some obsession with that place. It may be because of their cute clothes, 16 different type of wedges, or the fact that they have 3,765 bottles of nail polish. {If I was rich, I'd own every color of their Essie polish. Dangerous.}

But really, I think it's their dollar section we're all obsessed with the most. I really try to contain myself when it contains to that section because I really don't need to be spending money on useless things, but sometimes I find $1 items that I would buy anyways {for more than $1}. Score!

And just for the record. This blog has no value to you at all. You won't be able to find these things. I'm just excited about them so here you go.
My first find..

 I make lists for everything. I do mean everything. I usually make a list every day of things I have to do. I make a list of appointments I need to make, assignments I need to turn in for school, and lists for the store.

If I don't write it down, I will definitely forget it. My old boss used to start to say something to me and if she saw I didn't have anything to write with, she'd wait for me to get something. It's that bad.

So I'm a big fan of the long, lined notepads. They're cute and they help me keep my life together. I was so excited when I found this one!

And then I found these thank you notes.


I don't write thank you notes often, but I don't want to pay $3+ just for one thank you note for someone. These were perfect for Lincoln's teachers for their end of the year gift. So cute. So cheap. Score.

Last I found this cup.



I'm always buying Linc cups because somehow they disappear constantly. To where? I have no clue. But they do. This cup is super cute and it has a straw for when I don't trust Linc to hold a cup. It's also super easy to clean.

{Lincoln just told me.. "I want to press it with you." So this is what he wanted to share.. pkmjnnnbfv cyyu0998877766421qazznmk,.iuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii99999999999999999999hhggffdwqaaqwe5rio}

Obviously he really liked the cup, too.

So those were my three big finds! Three things I would buy anyways for only $3. That's seriously a reason to blog. {Okay, maybe I just think that.. But it's my blog. So..}

I hope you have an amazing Thursday! 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Mother's Day

I had the sweetest Mother's Day. Such an awesome time with my family and Lincoln. The perfect day, really.

It's an absolute luxury to spend the whole day with Lincoln. Between his school, my school, and work, it's a rarity that we spend the whole day together. I was so thankful that Mother's Day happened to be the week that I was off from school. Seriously, Jesus couldn't have timed that any better!

Ironically {Happy Mother's Day to me!}, Lincoln woke me up around midnight on Mother's Day and I took him back to bed, laid with him, and fell asleep in his bed. I never woke up until he did in the morning {this has happened a lot lately}. 

In the morning, my morning child {read: complete opposite of me in that department} looked at me and said, "Open your eyes! Get out of bed!"



We got up and opened presents first thing. Lincoln {aka, my mom} got me flowers, a cross Alex and Ani bracelet, and a card. The sweetest part was the way Lincoln opened my presents and handed them to me. {Thank you Mom for always thinking of me every holiday even now that I'm a mom. Without you I wouldn't have a GPS, a gold bracelet, or flowers. And that would be a travesty. Especially the GPS.}



We headed to church and after church my sister, Matt, my parents, Lincoln and I all went to Outback for lunch. Lincoln wanted to hold my hand on the ride to lunch. So sweet.



When we got home Lincoln went with my parents to the store to get flowers to plant {I obviously didn't participate because if I did they would die. Immediately}. After they finished I let Linc play outside in the sprinkler for quite a while I read a book. He had a blast getting muddy and wet and even almost spraying me a few times.

He got a bath and we headed to the movies. We saw Legends of Oz. It was pretty cute, but some parts were a little scary for Lincoln {he's three}. We had popcorn and Lincoln and I had an icee. He's touchy but it's rare for him to sit in my lap during a movie so for about half the movie I was thrilled to hold him and snuggle with him.

This is where I should interject. You know those outfits that you wear and they're the most comfortable in the whole world. WELL I FOUND ONE. I'm always cold in the movies so I wore a pair of jeans, a super old shirt, and toms look-alikes.


Shirt: no clue
Jeans: Loft
Shoes: Madden Girl
Bracelet: Alex and Ani

It may not be the cutest outfit, but it was so comfortable.



After that we got home and got in pajamas and Lincoln did our normal bedtime routine. When I asked him to pick a book he picked "How do I love you?" It was such a perfect ending to a perfect day.

The best part was the way Lincoln was so sweet all day. Lincoln is a pretty sweet natured kid anyways, but it seemed like he was extra sweet Sunday. He wanted hugs and kisses and to hold hands. He told my parents at lunch he wanted to sit by Momma. He wanted to do everything with me. More than the presents and the lunch and the movies, his love was the best part of the day. I'm so thankful for the days where we have no where to go and nothing to do. They're my favorite. 

Monday, May 12, 2014

A Very Special Guest

Happy Monday, friends! A while back through the blogging world I met a sweet Godly friend named Kristal. She has become such a source of encouragement and inspiration and I'm so excited to announce that she's taking over the blog today with some serious truth! When you're done reading hop on over to her blog and stay a while. I promise you'll love her, too!

Hi, I'm Kristal from The Strong Family. I blog about my faith, family and life. I'm excited to be guest posting for Carrington today. Thank you so much, Carrington, for allowing me to take over your blog today!
**************************************************
Comparison on my mind a lot lately. Such a dangerous trail that is...



When I compare myself, whether it be my looks, my gifts/talents, my marriage, my parenting, whatever it is, to others, I always come up short. Somebody always looks better, performs better, has a stronger marriage, has perfectly behaved children...is always better than I am. But is that really the case? Is what I'm seeing really how it is behind closed doors or in the quiet of the day when nobody is watching? I seriously doubt it.

And you know what, it's ok if that's not how it is behind closed doors or in the quiet of the day! Because of the blood of Jesus, we have the freedom and grace to admit that we don't have it altogether. That we're not perfect! As a child of God, I am being made new in Christ. I am a new creation. Learning, growing, maturing every single day.


And on that journey, there will be bumps in the road, times when I don't get things right, and that's ok! When I'm focusing on Jesus, and not others around me, I realize that to Him I am enough...imperfections and all! And when I focus on Him and allow Him to have complete control of my life, He makes me better, He molds me into the best version of myself, this side of heaven.

This can be a difficult thing to remember sometimes, especially in light of social media. When those times of comparision creep in and I begin to believe the lies of the Devil, I need to step away and step into His presence and let Him love on me and show me the Truth! 

Are you struggling with comparision? Let me point you to The One who can reveal the Truth about who you really are to Him.

Thanks again, Carrington, for having me today! You can keep up with me on my blog, Instagram, Twitter, Bloglovin or Pinterest.


Isn't she awesome?! Thank you so much, Kristal, for taking over the blog today! You did awesome and I'm so thankful for your friendship! Have an amazing Monday, friends!

Friday, May 9, 2014

Five on Friday {Happy, happy, happy!}

Happy Friday! It's May.. when did that happen?? I don't know that I've ever been so excited to post my five things on Friday. Today I am so excited to share everything that's been going on lately around here {while I've obviously not been blogging}.


{One}



I PASSED PHARMACOLOGY!!!!!!!!!

Can I get an amen, thank God, hallelujah?! Monday I took my final, made an 84, and ended the class with an 86 {B}. So so SO happy to be done with that class finally and to move on. I appreciate your prayers this semester more than you know. God is so good to have watched over me and helped me this semester. Wednesday I will start my psychiatric nursing class and I am so excited to be that much closer to graduating! {One year from this month!}

{Two}

If you follow me on Instagram {@carefuss} then you already saw my big announcement..


I'M GOING TO BE A COCO {AN AUNT} AND LINCOLN IS GOING TO BE A BIG COUSIN!!!!!



 We are obviously incredibly excited for Matt and Kays {and let's face it.. completely excited for ourselves} and can't wait till the precious child gets here. Kays is due December 16th and my birthday is December 10th.. What an awesome birthday present!

{Three}

May is going to be so busy. I thought April was going to be, but May takes the cake. I was doing my calendar the other day and realized it's packed. Lincoln's last day of school is the 14th which is also my first day of school. I'm working more this month than last month. My brother gets married this month on the 26th, which means the 24th, 25th, and 26th are going to be packed with stuff. I have to catch up on 20 continuing education hours before the 15th.

And then in June, my baby starts swimming lessons. WHAT?!?! When did he get old enough for that? {Cue the tears.}

{Four}



This past week was revival at our church and it was incredible! God was present in that place in a mighty way. All of the links are online. Seriously.. I challenge you to go watch all of them. You'll get so much out of it!

Click here to go to the page where you can see all of the messages. 

{Five}



 Lincoln and I read three things before he goes to bed.. His Bible, a devotional, and a book. While we were reading his devotional a few nights ago, it asked this question.. "What would you want if you could have anything?" When I asked him, he looked up at me and smiled and without missing a beat said, "My Mommy!" Seriously. How sweet is he. I'm so thankful for his heart.

Wednesday he came home from school with a Mother's Day card and in the inside it said, "I love my mother because..." And then a blank for him to say why he loves me. Do you know what my boy put? "Because she cooks something for me.." Oh my word. My heart is now a puddle. He is the sweetest. {And I'm so glad he loves that I can microwave so well!}

So there are my five things this week! Have an amazing weekend!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Thankful Thursday

Hi, friends! It's been a while since I've participated in Thankful Thursday and I've really missed it. But because I am DONE with school {for six days} this week you get to hear all about what I'm thankful for!

Here goes!

I'm thankful for your prayers. I don't say that lightly or just to have something to write down. I really mean it. I have asked y'all to pray just about every week of this semester and have been filled with a peace about school that I just can't quite describe. I know fully that it's because of people's prayers for me that I got through this semester. So thank you. I really appreciate it more than you'll ever know. {And as next semester starts, I'll be asking for more!}

I'm thankful for Jesus. I say a lot that I'm thankful for grace and for Godly community and friendships, and things that are byproducts of Jesus.. But today I'm just thankful for Jesus. I'm thankful that in spite of the fact that He knew who I would become, He knew what I would do and that I would run far from Him, He created me anyways. He took the time to form me by hand. He loves me in spite of my failures and habits and hang-ups, and today I'm just thankful for Him. I'm so thankful for the Man who loves me most.



I'm thankful for Lincoln. In every way possible, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I know for certain I wouldn't have the relationship I have with Jesus if God hadn't opened my eyes to unconditional love through Lincoln. I'm a daughter, a sister, a friend.. But my greatest role on this earth is being Lincoln's mom. I adore that boy and I consider it a joy to be his mom.




I'm thankful for a break. Six days is a bigger break than I've had in a while and I'm so grateful for it. I have so much to catch up on that I've put off throughout this semester so it's so nice to have this time to get a few things done before I go into a crazy busy Summer.

I'm thankful for Lincoln's school. His school and teachers have been such a blessing this year. I worried a lot going into it how I would be looked at being so young and I never once felt judged. His teachers have shown him Jesus and he has come out of this school year having learned so much. I'm so thankful that he had the opportunity to go this year and to go back next year.




So that's what I'm thankful for this week! Come back tomorrow for an especially happy and exciting Five on Friday! I'm so excited to share some things with you!

Friday, May 2, 2014

The Idol of "I do"

The beautiful dress. The gorgeous ring. Perfect hair. That walk down the aisle. Something old, something new. Something borrowed, something blue. We ladies thrive on it. We ladies dream of it. And sometimes, we ladies even idolize it.


Jonah 2:8 NIV

We love the idea of a wedding. But have we gone too far?

I'm not sure when we became in love with the idea of getting married, but I'm pretty sure it occurred when Pinterest became so popular. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there were girls idolizing marriage before, but now it's like we've planned our weddings before we're even dating someone. If you want to know who wants a marriage the most, check out their wedding board on Pinterest. And don't act like you don't have one; yours is probably private {Hey, I'm talking to myself here}.

Don't get me wrong. I want to get married. But it's not at the center of who I am. It's not all I think about or all I dream about. Because get this. There's a possibility that God doesn't have that in His plans for me {or you}. And trust me, I get it. The mere thought scares us to death. We hate the idea of being "forever alone". Sure, we joke about it, but really we're not joking. It terrifies us to think that we'll never get married.

Somewhere along the way we starting rooting our value in whether someone is pursuing us or not. Beautiful girl, you were beautiful and priceless long before anyone said you were. You are beautiful and priceless because of what a Holy God did for you. You are who He says you are and that is His treasured possession.



I'm always amazed when I hear girls who have been dating their significant other {for usually less than a year} say something along the lines of "Yeah, I'm happy we're dating but I'm just ready to get married. All of my friends are getting married and I just want to, also."

{Usually those people are under the age of 25 and complain about how they've waited so long to get married. Um, hello? Are you counting from age 5 or from the time you could really put together clear thoughts of marriage? Because if it's the latter, than you really haven't waited that long.}

If you're looking for "the wedding", then you're looking for the next big thing. And if that's the case you're going to be unsatisfied the rest of your life. Because one big thing will come and go and you'll look for the next big thing. Soon you'll run out of "big things" and you won't even know the man at the breakfast table.

It drives me nuts when people just want to be dating, and then they just want to be engaged, and then they just wanted to be married. I get it. I totally do. But you're completely missing the point. Because if marriage is about WHO God has allowed you to be with, then whether you're dating, engaged, or married, you've fulfilled the purpose. You're with that person. You've made it. Be satisfied in where God has you, not where you dream {and pin 6,459 images a day} of.


He fulfills His promises!!!!

We can try all day to suppress our desires for a marriage, but at the end of the day we can't because it's a heart issue. We {myself included} subconsciously think that being married will complete us. {As if we're somehow not complete until "the one" comes along.} No man will ever complete you. He can be an incredible man of God, fully wrapped up in grace and the truth of God's word, and just perfect for you.. But he still won't make you whole.

You're not incomplete single. You're not incomplete engaged. You're not incomplete married. You're incomplete when God doesn't have your whole heart and you haven't allowed Him to satisfy you completely. It's not that God doesn't have the power to satisfy you, it's that you won't let Him.

If you're looking for a husband, He's the best you can have. If you're looking for a lover, He's the best you'll get. If you're looking for satisfaction, it's only found in Him.


This is beautiful.

Like I said before, I'm not against wanting to be married. In fact, it's a huge desire of mine. But we really need to get down to the heart of it all. Do we want a marriage {the good, the bad, and the ugly} or do we just want a Pinterest-perfect wedding day? Are we looking for wholeness out of a marriage, or a Christ-centered oneness that points all people towards Jesus?

Somewhere between the millions of pins about color schemes and bouquets we forgot the meaning of marriage. Because marriage isn't the pretty ring, the white dress, or the first dance. That's the wedding day. That's 24 hours {actually less} that no one but you and your husband will remember later. 

The marriage is the day in and day out. It's the moments of joy and the moments of sorrow. It's when the husband leaves his shoes laying around the house and the wife wears yoga pants entirely too often. It's watching your children play in their first t-ball game. It's being the biggest cheerleader in your spouses life. It's about loving each other even when the wrinkles and grey hair come. It's the fights and the tears and the heartache.. but it's doing it together. It's serving someone and loving someone more than yourself. It's having someone to lean on and love for the rest of your life. It's pursuing each other daily for the rest of your lives. It's not until you get sick of each other, it's until death do us part. It's saying I'm in this forever, no matter what comes our way.


.

It's great to want all those things, but it's wrong to idolize it. Marriage is fine as a desire but it's deadly as an idol.

Your life is just as important single as it is when you're married. We have to seek God with everything in us and trust that God has it all in His hands. Pursue God. Pursue holiness. Chase God. Let God refine you daily so that when He does bring your spouse, you're completely ready for them. You can't fully love a husband until you fully love Christ. And you can't fully love Christ being wrapped up in the idol of marriage.


 
And although I desire to be the bride of a Godly man here on earth, I desire infinitely more to be the bride of Christ. To know and be known by the Lover of my soul, the Creator of my heart, and The One who loves and knows me most.

God knows your heart. He loves you so much more than anyone else can. He knows every thought, every desire, every hurt. You can rest easy knowing that He's got it in control.

Faith~