Friday, April 4, 2014

Memories and Mercy

I'm always amazed at how fast time passes. When people say the days are long but the years are short they're not kidding. Years seem to fly by.

Tonight I was laying in Lincoln's Buzz Lightyear bed thinking after he had fallen asleep. The mattress I was laying on was the mattress that was in his crib when he was so tiny. The picture of us on the wall is from when he was 13 days old. The hand prints and footprints are just a memory of the baby boy I used to have. Bible verses from the quilt hanging on the wall have been prayed over him more times than I can count. And the blue paint on the wall has seen its fair share of my emotions.

Tonight is the last night he'll sleep in that bed. I can't help but think, how is he already big enough to have a favorite color {even if it does change every few days}? How is he big enough to need a twin bed? I mean, isn't that for big kids? I just have a little baby. A precious little 6 lb 10 oz baby boy.

But wait. My 'little' baby turns three this month. He's 36 pounds. He has a personality that will send you into stitches laughing. His heart is sweet and kind, and he absolutely hates to do the wrong thing. He has the best manners and he opens the door for any lady who will let him. He talks about Jesus like he's walking right beside Him. He fiercely loves the people he's close to. His joy and excitement is contagious, and you can't listen to him talk for longer than ten minutes and stay upset. He loves school and loves to learn. He's obsessed with green and all things Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Baseball is his favorite and he'll sit through any game. He's meticulous and a complete rule follower.

And I get to thinking.. when did this happen? But mostly I think, God why me? Why would you allow a 18 year old girl to parent such a precious and wonderful gift. Truthfully, I'll never know this side of Heaven. I'll never know why God would be so gracious as to send a precious baby down to a broken teenager. And I can't help but be moved to tears when I think how good God is. How God could look on my sin and love me unconditionally. How He could choose to bless me in spite of my imperfections. I'm overwhelmed by His grace and mercy. There are no words that explain my heart better than this.. God is good and God is faithful.

So tomorrow we start our journey in his big boy room. And April 19th we start our journey of three. And seeing how precious and perfect God's timing has been so far, I can't wait to see how God's plan plays out for the rest of our days.


  1. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! I LOOK AT MY BEAUTFUL DAUGHTER, THAT IS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE (AND THAT IS SAYING ALOT), AND I WONDER WHEN DID THE FRECkLED FACE GIrL WITH MISSING FRONT teeth become this 21 year old mother who is someone I admire so much. Who does an unbelievable job as a single mom to the most precious and perfect little boy...EVER!!!! I remember her as a baby and realize the days and years fly by. Don't take them for granted because you will blink and your son will be 21. Each day I look at you and Lincoln and Know how awesome and gracious and loving God is to allow me to love you!

    1. I have the sweetest mom. Who is obviously so incredibly technologically savvy. Love you Momma!

  2. What a beautiful journey you & Linc have been on. I have no doubt you are tremendously blessed by him everyday, but let me tell you, Linc is so very, very blessed to have you as his momma!! You are doing an incredible job!