Saturday, April 19, 2014

Happy 3rd Birthday, Lincoln!

Dear Lincoln,

Happy birthday to my very greatest gift from God!

There are no words to completely express how I feel in this moment. It's been three years since that precious day that Dr. Kuester placed you in my arms. It's been three years since my heart fell in love. It's been three years since you absolutely captivated all of me.

Your life was ordained by God. I wish I could say that your life will always be easy and perfect and I'll be able to protect you, but I can't. Above all, you are His child, perfectly knitted together in my womb. Every single part of you was known by Jesus before you breathed even one breath here on this earth.

You are wanted. You are loved. You are cherished.

Jesus was showing off when He made you. You're three years old and I've watched Him work in your life more than I could have ever dreamed of. Your life and your presence changed a family more than you'll ever know. He had dreams for you when He created you, He had dreams for you that precious Tuesday morning at 4:28 am. He has dreams for you today, tomorrow, and for all of eternity. How beautiful is it that you matter to God. He loves you with a relentless, passionate, never-giving-up love. He cherishes you. He has made you righteous through His Son's blood. May you never forget that above all else, Jesus loves you most and so much more than your mom ever can.

I pray you look back on our life, the unplanned moments, the hard moments, and the joyous moments, and you see Jesus. I pray you see a mom who is so in love with Jesus that nothing and no one can shake her. I pray you see that my loyalty and devotion is in Him, and Him alone. I pray you know that through Him we can accomplish all things. Our life and our victories wouldn't be possible without the Author of it. I'm so grateful that He is the Author of your life.

 You have so many people to be grateful for. Your Papa adores you. When we found out about you He just prayed and prayed. I have no doubts his prayers are what has sustained us through the last three years. He plays with you no matter how tired he is from work, and I pray one day you'll see that and thank him for it. Your Geesh is the most servant-hearted person I know. She loves you and would do absolutely anything for you. I have no doubts that she'd give up her life for you in an instant. She is the reason your mom will graduate from nursing school. Your Momo has loved you from the start. She teaches you and prays for you. She passionately loves you. Your Uncle Matt has stepped into a role he never had to do. I have no doubt that he loves you like a son. It takes a lot to step into a father role for a child who isn't yours and son, he loves you like a dad. Your Uncle Pearce doesn't get to see you often, but oh when he does. He teaches you so much about Jesus and storms the gates of Heaven on your behalf. He drove in the middle of the night to come see you the night you were born just because he loves you so much. Lincoln Fussell, you are not lacking in love, baby boy. These people love you with a love that will never be able to be put into words and I'm grateful for the way they love you so passionately.

Last night in the bathtub I watched as you laughed and giggled over and over, joy exuding from you. I see Jesus in everything you do. I see Jesus in your sweet grin, I hear Jesus in that precious laugh, and I see Jesus in those big blue eyes of yours.

 April 19th, 2011 you arrived at 4:28 am. Among Dr. Kuester, a precious nurse, your mom, Momo, Papa and Geesh, you were welcomed you with open arms.

 There are no words to adequately describe the love I have for you. I unconditionally love you. That isn't just a mundane phrase. That means everything. You are the greatest gift I have ever had the honor of receiving. I mean it when I say I am honored to be your mom. I am proud to be your mom.

 You're the best behaved three year old I've ever met. You have manners like I've never seen before and if a lady is 100 feet away, you'll still hold the door for her. You say please, thank you, and excuse me with the best of them. I pray you always treat people with respect.

 You're so intelligent. You love school and learning and you ask why nearly 500 times a day. You love letters, shapes, and numbers. Every time we see a '3', you say, "I be three on my birthday!" You love your friends at school: Cody and Foster are your favorites. You talk about your teachers, Mrs. Foley and Mrs. Griffin, constantly. You also love Mrs. Dee Dee, too.

You're incredibly meticulous. When you want something clean, you do it the right way. If something is in the wrong spot, you'll be sure to let everyone know. And it's not a knee, it's a knee-cap. You're a rule follower, and you're quick to let me know if someone {including myself} isn't doing something right.

You got a guinea pig two days ago. She was a surprise and you named her Brownie. You love her like crazy. I've never seen your face light up with so much joy in your entire life. You want her to lay on your tummy and play in your playroom with you.

You have the biggest heart that makes your mom smile daily. You're tenderhearted and you hate to do things wrong. You're quick to tell me you love me, and your love language is definitely touch. You love cuddling and kisses. You absolutely hate when people cry. You love reading your Bible and then a book before bed, but you're serious about the fact that we need to read the Bible first.

You love Jesus. Oh, sweet son, if I had your child-like faith. Every time we see a cross you tell me "That's where Jesus died!" Last night we talked about the men on the boat in the middle of the storm. I asked you if the storm was going to stop and you told me that Jesus would stop their storm. Then you told me, "And Jesus will stop our rain, too." Oh precious son, never lose that faith. Don't let this world take your faith or your joy. Jesus wants to stop the storms in your life, if you let Him. He wants a relationship with you, and I can't wait to see your love for Him grow and how He uses you to do mighty things in His Kingdom.

So I don't know where God has us next. I don't know exactly how His plans for our lives play out, but I know together they will be great. His love conquers all, son, and your life is a perfect example of that.

I'm so thankful for your life. You taught me unconditional love, complete patience, and you gave me a strength I didn't know I had. You've taught me hard work and you've taught me grace. Your life is precious and priceless. I am so grateful that God gave me you. Oh, my sweet Lincoln, Jesus is so good to let me be your mom.

So happy birthday, sweet three year old. I hope your day is as perfect as you dream and as wonderful as your sweet self. Your mom loves you more than monster trucks, all the way to Heaven and back.


  1. Happy Birthday Lincoln! I know you are loved beyond measure! You have an amazing mommy! She is beautiful, caring, sweet, kind, and loves Jesus so much! She encourages me all the time. I am blessed to call her my friend!

    1. Thank you Erica! You are the sweetest! I can't wait for coffee with you tomorrow! You are such a special and encouraging friend to me! I am blessed!

  2. Oh my! Bawling my eyes out. This is the most precious post I've ever read. You have to share this one in his wedding {or maybe just graduation ;) }slideshow someday!

    1. Thank you Courtney! I cried like a baby writing it! I think it's my favorite post I've ever written. That's a good idea.. I'm sure I'll be crying then, too! {I'm working on emailing you back!}

  3. He is SOOO cute! What a great mother you are. It does my heart good, He's a blessed little guy!

    1. Thank you so much! He is such an awesome son!

  4. I loved reading about how you and your son are thriving. As a new single Mom I worry- but like you we have amazing extended family support and so many people who are stepping up into my children's lives. I look forward to following your blog!

    1. Thank you! You will be great! If you ever need anything {even someone to talk to who understands} let me know!