Monday, April 28, 2014

Being a Yes Mom

I want to be a yes mom.

I say no a lot. There is definitely a place for discipline and definitely a place for the word no. For example, does my child need to drive my car? No. Does he need to get on the roof and jump off like Spiderman? No. No is a good word. No keeps our kids safe, it keeps them healthy, and it keeps them from doing things that they may regret later.

But sometimes I think we say no just for the sake of saying no. Sometimes we say it just to show our children who's boss. And sometimes we say it because we're in way over our heads and the first person we lose patience with is our children {and probably spouses but I don't have one so I have no expertise on that subject}.

Sometimes when I'm exhausted or worried about something or just have way too much on my mind, I'll say no to Lincoln about something incredibly stupid. For example, one time I was tired {oh heavens, this is awful} and I poured him Gatorade in one cup and he asked for it in another one, and I told him no. He needed to just take the one I poured it in.

Oh my word. What is wrong with me?! {I still feel guilty about this.}

Was it such a huge deal for me just to pour the Gatorade into the other cup? No. It really wasn't at all. It was a little thing I could've done and it would've made Lincoln's day.

Lately, I've been trying really hard to be a yes mom. I don't want Lincoln to remember his childhood as an awful time where all mom did was say no. And ladies, we know we can say no in at least 20 different ways. No, you can't eat that. We're not going there. Don't jump off of that. Stop doing that. Pick a different book. It's almost as if we delight in saying no sometimes.

And the more I've thought about it lately, the more I realize when I say yes more often, we're both happier.

That doesn't mean I say yes to stupid things. If Linc asks for 30 pieces of chocolate in a day I don't say yes. But when it was his birthday week and he had a lot of chocolate in the house, yes I most certainly did allow him to have a piece before breakfast one morning.

So Saturday {without me even realizing it until bedtime} I was a yes mom. In fact, we had a yes day.

When I got home from work I helped my mom in the backyard rake up some leaves into piles. Wouldn't you know I looked over and Lincoln was picking them up and throwing them? And my first thought.. Tell that boy no! But the truth is, he was occupied, happy, and his hands are tiny so he couldn't pick many up anyways. It was a little thing, but he had a blast.




Later I really needed to clean my car out so I had him come outside with me while I did it. {You probably need to know that it was so messy Lincoln and I could live out of it. For two weeks.} I told him he could ride his bike around the driveway while I cleaned it out. I hadn't gotten five things out of the car before he asked me to ride bikes with him around the block. He wanted both of us to ride our bikes and I knew that if we did, we'd end up at the park and not get back for a while.

But when I started thinking about it, riding bikes would make him so happy. Playing at the park would make him so happy. And when it all comes down to it, he doesn't care a bit about my car and how clean it is. The car will be there forever, but he won't always be three and asking me to ride bikes with him.
And do you know what? We had a blast. He did SO great riding his new bike and we laughed like crazy. When we got to the park we ran and played and laughed. It was so good for my soul.




So we got back home and I tried {again} to clean out my car. I asked Linc what he wanted for dinner thinking he'd say chicken and I'd go inside and make some. When he looked in the back of my car he saw his beach toys and his face lit up. "I have an idea! We can go get food from Burger King, and not open it yet, and have a picmic at the beach!"

Sold. To the cutie who can't pronounce picnic.

I could've said no because of money. I could've said no because hello! My car is a wreck! But Lincoln thought of it all by himself and he wanted to spend time with me. We got dinner and drove to the beach and his little heart was so happy and so content.



Then we went by his friends house to pick up his birthday present and it was play-doh. It would've been so easy to tell him we had to wait till tomorrow to play with it because it was only 30 minutes till bed but I didn't. I let him play. And what joy.


Then Lincoln bought me flowers for taking him on picnic.
{Thanks Mom and Dad for footing the bill.} 

Saturday was so filled with joy and laughter. And to be completely honest, I probably would've been more miserable if I had said no to throwing leaves, a bike ride, a beach picnic, and some play-doh. His day was made yesterday because I said yes to a few things. I would have a clean car, but not a content child.

No has its place. But so does yes.

Yes may look like something different to you. It may look like a trip to the zoo when you're exhausted and need to clean the house. It may look like ten more minutes in the bathtub. Whatever it is, our children are more important than our agendas.

Our day was full of joy and laughter because I said yes to Lincoln. And Jesus was so good to allow me time to clean out my car yesterday.

{That's right. I can now see the floor.}

I honestly believe God blesses our time when we keep our priorities in the right order and our relationship with our children grows when we say yes to the important things in their lives.

I want to strive to be a yes mom.

4 comments:

  1. This was so sweet! Even though I'm not a parent, I've still been trying to say "yes" more. Sometimes it's so easy to just say "no" when we don't really mean it. Sounds like it was a wonderful Saturday :)

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    1. That's awesome! It can really apply in every area of our lives!

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  2. I love this!! And SO relate with striving to be a yes mom over a no mom. Sometimes it takes intentional effort to say yes over in but I'm always happy I did. You're a great mom, sweet friend!!

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    1. Thank you, friend! It is definitely an intentional battle most days!

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