Saturday, March 22, 2014

Changes

You know those people? The ones who wake up completely peppy and ready to take on the day? My dad is one of them. I, however, am not.

To saw I'm not a morning person is a huge understatement. I literally wake up annoyed sometimes. Over the simple fact that I have to get up. Seriously how awful is that? I'm one of those people who can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. If I didn't have child or anywhere to be, I could literally wake up between 9 and 12 every day for the rest of my life. When people ask what my talent is, I should seriously say sleeping.

I understand that there are people who love to get up before their children and get things done. They love to feel productive and they don't mind at all sacrificing their sleep to get a few extra things done. It's okay to hit those people. {Kidding. God bless them and their overly cheerful morning attitudes.}

I have an alarm clock. His name is Lincoln. And until he comes into my room and says "It's 48!" {Which means it's morning, get out of bed! I have no idea where that came from.}, I stay cuddled up in my warm bed dreaming of rainbows and unicorns being done with nursing school and living in a mansion.

And heaven knows If it's dark outside, I should be sleeping. Period.



With that being said, I posted this on my Instagram almost two months ago.

I stand by what I say so often, my God has a sense of humor.

Over the past few days God has really been speaking to me about my time with Him. If I can get completely honest here, my time with God is so sporadic. Thankfully I've gotten to a place where I spend time with Him daily, but a lot of the time it's rushed and chaotic.

I never read my Bible at the same time of day, never for the same amount of time, and I almost never actually study it. Lately I've made excuses that I'm so busy but at least I actually read a few chapters. While I may have read a few chapters daily, I couldn't tell you what I read. I couldn't actually tell you what God spoke to my heart through it. Because in all honesty I was seeing my time with Jesus as something to check off on my busy to-do list.

I hate when reading my Bible and praying becomes a thought at the end of the day. When I've basically said, okay God, work, school, blogging Lincoln {and social media} are important, but You're not. That's a huge slap in the face the The One Who created me. He left Heaven to die for me and yet, I can't give Him His own time. That really makes me feel ashamed.

Everything I've read in the Bible points us doing thing out of the right heart. Jesus considered the widow's gift of everything she had of greater value than the rich people even though their gifts were far greater in monetary value. They gave a lot because they had a lot. She gave all despite not having much. She gave out of a right and generous heart. {Mark 12:41-44}

So while I may be reading my Bible, I haven't been doing it out of the right heart. I've been doing it because I know it's what Jesus asks of me, not because I want to spend time with The One I love most. 

After realizing that my heart wasn't right and that I needed to really seek God and study His Word, instead of just run through a few verses and be done with it I started praying about when I could definitely set aside time for Him. Alone. Quiet. No phone vibrating. No toddler begging for my attention. No study guides to look over. No emails to check. Precious time with Him.

And guess what He said. Mornings. As in that dark time where it should be illegal to be awake. 

Yikes. Give up an hour of sleep to read my Bible?

I went through a lot of justifying. But I can't do that because I'm a single mom, I work, I go to school.. I'm so busy and I need my sleep. But I can't do that because I won't learn anything that early in the morning. And the list went on.

So I'm learning sometimes God calls us out of our comfort zones. And I'm not trying to be funny when I say this is not in my comfort zone. I like my sleep. I despise mornings. There is nothing comfortable about me waking up early to a beeping alarm clock when it's pitch black outside. I understand it may not be as uncomfortable as what others are going through for Jesus, but it's going to be hard for me.

I don't say any of this for you to feel bad about enjoying your sleep. Because the truth is, I read about someone doing this months ago and didn't feel the least bit bad about doing my quiet time later in the day. But now, He's called me personally to be more intentional. If God has called you to get up early and seek Him, that's awesome. If God has called you to spend time with Him later in the day, that's awesome, too! God places different callings on all of us. What a beautiful thing!

So starting tomorrow morning at 5:30 {Yikes!} I'll be getting up to drink coffee and love on Jesus. Prayers are welcome.

You can pray for me to turn off my alarm and not go get back in bed. You can pray I will actually retain what I read {because heaven knows my brain does not work well that early in the morning}. And you can pray for the safety of those in my house dealing with my sleep deprived self.

I love my sleep. But I love my Jesus more.


6 comments:

  1. So, how was your first 5:30 morning with Jesus time?

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    1. This is so late. Ah. I'm sorry! But they're going okay. The first one I woke up at 5:30 and got back in bed once I turned my alarm off. Then Jesus woke me up at 6:30 and I got up then!

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  2. I can totally relate with you. I started getting up earlier in Jan and it's been wonderful. I enjoy that extra hour I have every morning :) Good luck!

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    1. That is such an encouragement that you are enjoying it. I'm hoping I will too!

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  3. I'll be getting up at the same time with the same purpose! How fun that were almost meeting Jesus together :)

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