Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Patience and Goldfish

You know those days that start out so wonderfully? And then go completely downhill from there? Yeah. Lincoln and I had one of those Monday morning.  Lincoln and I decided to play outside because it was beautiful! So I was excited and he was excited and I figured we'd just get ready and go outside quickly.. But that's not how it happened. 

I started thinking about how my test was exactly a week away and the enemy started telling me I could never pass it. Started telling me I'd never learn all that material in just one week. I was frustrated but tried to push it out of my mind. Then I went out to the laundry room because I had three loads of laundry that needed to be done and the buttons will not work. For a good five minutes. Every 10 seconds Lincoln kept calling me into his room. I'd tell him just a minute and he'd call again. The buttons still weren't working. After a prayer, they finally worked.

I go inside and Lincoln has dumped some of his fish's food out on his dresser. Wonderful. We feed Dodo {our fish}, and I go to pick out his clothes to wear. He starts bawling about how he wants to wear his hat and his gloves. {Why he's crying I'm not sure because I didn't say he couldn't wear them}. My heart rate is going higher and higher but I'm trying and praying that I will not lose it. 

Finally he's dressed and has on his hat and his gloves and I decide to make some coffee. Linc is repeating "I want goldfish outside. I want juice. I want to wear my hat and gloves." Coffee's done. I poor creamer in the coffee.. Oh, hey. Creamer has expired. Poor it out. Then I hear, "Aw! My goldfish!" All of the goldfish have fallen on the floor. Clean up mess. Get more goldfish. Look for more creamer. That one is expired, too. {It's been a good week since I've made coffee}. Forget it.

I'll read my Bible outside {because I obviously need Jesus}. I can't find my Bible. Delightful. I took it to the beach yesterday. Is it in the car? Nope. Finally after five minutes I find my Bible and notebook.

This is the thing. Motherhood has taught me that my patience isn't as great as I once thought, and despite what I've always believed about myself, I am capable of yelling. And that upsets me. I hate yelling. I hate loosing my temper over goldfish, expired creamer, and buttons that just don't want to work.

And we've had mornings like this before where I've lost it. I've believed what the enemy said and I've taken out every little frustration on Lincoln. I've yelled about the little things in life that really don't matter all that much. A few months ago I was losing it way more than I'd like to admit and once I'd lost it, the day was ruined. I felt guilty for getting mad at Lincoln for things that really didn't matter. So I've been praying so hard that God would make my heart more kind and more patient.

Monday morning I was impatient, but I didn't lose my temper. I had to say about 50 prayers before my frustration subsided, but God was good to help me calm down.

I'm sure there are little things in your life too: a rude co-worker, slow Internet, flat tire, dead cell phone. I truly believe the enemy tries to upset us with these things that really don't matter in the big scheme of things!

The truth is, our attitude determines the course of our day. We lose entirely too much time being upset about things that don't matter. We waste precious moments being upset because little things don't go right.

Today let's pray to be patient. Let's pray to love Jesus and to love people. Let's pray that we see the bigger picture, instead of the crushed goldfish on the floor.

6 comments:

  1. So good! My journey group was talking about this just last night. And often times, at least for me, I don't always recognize the little frustrating things to be attacks from the enemy until I have lost it. But God is so good and His grace never runs out on us! So thankful for His wonderful grace!

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    1. That's awesome! I agree with that! I hate to say that I recognize them because it's happened one too many times!

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  2. Patience and flexibility are two things I've been asking God to help me with as well! I still have the bad days and feel absolutely terrible when I take things out on my husband - the person I love the most - but I know God is at work in me and I have to remind myself to give myself grace because I'm not going to change over night!

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    1. If we ask He is faithful and will give it to us! That's awesome that He's working in your life!

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  3. Oh, how I can relate SO MUCH to this post!! So much! Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. It's good to know I'm not alone in some of the same struggles. Together, with the help of God and each other, we can remember to focus on what's important let the little things go. Love this post!

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    1. Our faults really do help others! I really feel like as women we need to be unified and lift one another up, not tear each other down. Sometimes I feel imperfect by reading other peoples blogs because they 'have it all together', we need to let go of that! He is good to be working in us!!

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