Saturday, July 27, 2013

A Lesson on Parenting

Good morning! I know I missed my Thankful Thursday this week and I am so sorry! I have been studying so hard for finals but I will get back to it this Thursday! For tonight I'm bringing y'all something different.

I grew up in a home where my siblings and I ran in the house, sometimes we'd throw things in the house, and we liked to shout and laugh. My parents knew that our feelings and emotions were much more important than material things. When we broke things, we were still loved. We may have been disciplined, but we were never yelled or screamed at. And let me tell you, I have never truly appreciated that until now.

One time I threw a frisbee in the house and I broke a piece off of one of my mom's Christmas village shops.

Another time I did a back flip off of a couch and broke a sculpture that she absolutely loves. (Thankfully she was able to glue the whole thing back together again.)

Those are just two of the times I remember well but I'm sure between the three of us, we broke things, bent things, and drew on things we weren't supposed to.

Fast forward to last night. Lincoln was playing in the spice drawer in the kitchen and he dropped a glass of something. It shattered all over the floor. I was working on the last few minutes of dinner so I picked him up, held him while I stirred the food, and when I was done turned on the TV so he'd watch it while I cleaned up the glass in the kitchen.

A couple of weeks ago he took a marker to my (a week old at that time) comforter that I absolutely love. I started to get angry and then I thought back on how patient my parents have always been when we messed things up. I started thinking.. This is a material comforter. It costs money, yes, but if I yell at him for this and really hurt him and his feelings, that can't be taken back. A new comforter can be bought, or I can live with one that has a few marker spots on it.

When I was younger I would go to friends' houses whose parents would scream and yell anytime they spilt anything, broke anything, or wrote on anything they weren't supposed to. Should we discipline our kids? Yes. Should we let them know when they're not allowed to do something? Of course. I let Lincoln know that it wasn't okay to write on things other than paper I give him, but I didn't yell. I didn't get angry. Why? Because his feelings and heart are so much more important than anything I can purchase. I can always buy a new comforter, I can always paint a wall, but I can never take back things I say to him. I can apologize for those words but I can never erase how he feels when I say them.

Honestly, I'm not saying I'm perfect at this. And in the past two years of being his mom, I have had to remind myself of how patient my parents have always been with me about this. I honestly have the best examples I could ever ask for when it comes to this. So thank you Mom and Dad, for letting me break, draw on, and bend everything important in our home. Thank you for letting me run in the house, and throw in the house, and scream and laugh. Thank you for letting our home be a home where I never felt like I couldn't prop my feet up. I know what home is supposed to feel like because of you two, and I pray Lincoln says the same about me one day.

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