Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Breaking Chains

When I was seventeen, I was in bondage. No, maybe not bondage like you would immediately assume. I wasn't tied up, I wasn't chained to anything. But as a seventeen year old, I was in an overwhelming amount of mental, emotional and spiritual bondage. I was chained to doubt, insecurity, and a relationship.. And it was awful. My life had no joy and no freedom. September 17th, 2010 I sat on a table in a doctor's office and listened to the words, "You're pregnant." My stomach immediately knotted up. The tears didn't come, but the fear did. My mind began to race a million miles a minute and thousands of questions flooded my brain. September 20th, 2010 I sat exactly where I'm sitting now with my parents and coughed out the words that would soon become my greatest joy. Shortly after, my comfort zone was shaken when the relationship began to crumble. I was alone. This was my journey and I was the one who was going to carry the load. But then God reminded me, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." And I realized, people on this earth will let me down, but my God never will. He strengthened me. He held tight to His promise.. "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I like to think I became supermom then but I know the strength would never have come from myself alone. He did it all. He was the reason I faced a teenage pregnancy alone, and conquered it. Fast forward. April 19th, 2011 at 4:28 in the morning I delivered my greatest miracle. Tonight I went and sat down at the side of that sweet miracle's bed and thought.. God freed me. Even though I didn't know it, God broke chains when I found out I was pregnant. He broke the chains when I told my parents, when the relationship ended, when I delivered my sweet angel. God used my son to break chains in my life, to rescue me from the bondage that was drowning me. The more I think back on the past three years, the more I realize that freedom isn't doing what you want when you want to do it. Freedom is walking down God's path for your life. True freedom is submitting to the fact that God knows what He's doing and He knows when He needs to do it. Freedom for me is the smile on my toddler's face when he jumps on his Buzz Lightyear bed. Freedom is when he runs and jumps in my arms and gives me 'sugar kisses.' It's when I hear "Momma!" down the hall. It's cuddling on a Saturday morning, and prayers at night. It's running as fast as I can with my 31 pound child in my arms through downtown just so he can watch the train pass by, or watching his mouth turn blue while he eats Superman ice cream. Freedom is realizing that God has a plan, and it usually involves things I couldn't begin imagine.. such as my surprise miracle named Lincoln:)

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed! John 8:36

2 comments:

  1. Wow. I love how God uses the stuff in our lives that we just don't understand and just don't know how we'll be able to handle to show us who He is and how powerful He is. He is constantly revealing His character to us in situations where we least expect any good to happen or any when we have the least hope. What freedom it is to realize He's in control and know that completely submitting to Him will only bring you farther out of any bondage. Praise God for your miracle and the light that He has put in the both of you. Who the Son sets free is FREE INDEED! love it! He is so good.

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  2. Oh my goodness...your story is so inspiring and encouraging. I'm been going through your blog posts, and it is so refreshing to see someone so in love with God and his plan, even when it doesn't tend to be their own. Your story is so special, and sweet. What a testimony to glorify Christ. I will definitely be checking back here to see how you and your darling little one are doing! :)

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